I have decided I want to be called Doctor Floyd but I
don't want to go through all the schools and paper
writing to get a doctorate or even the hassle of
finding an online degree place which will give me a
doctorate degreee. So You should just call me

Dr. Floyd Britchcraft
or Floyd Britchcraft, PhD
or Dr. Floyd Britchcraft, PhD

but I also want to be knighted. But that would
involve going to England and ingratiating myself to
the queen and I just don't have time to become best
friends of the Queen of England. I have mother to
think of, not to mention tha Mittens has been looking
a little peaked.

So please let's skip the formality and just call me

Sir Floyd Brichcraft
or Floyd Britchcraft, Knighted
or maybe Lord?
Lord Britchcraft?

or Sir Dr. Floyd Britchcraft, PhD

Yes. I'm changing all my stationaery.