I am Sarah Palin's gay friend

Remember how I said I used to live in Alaska? You don't remember? Well, it's true. Adn while i was there, i made a lot of friends. One of them was Sarah Palin. I remember when we first met. I was barbecuing in the backyard. I ran out of firewood and charcoal so I started burning books. She walked by and saw what I was doing and she shook my hand and said "What's your name? We folks have to stick together." And she winked.

At first I thought she meant us cat lovers because Flippers was nearby meowing, but later i realized she meant attractive people like us. We hung out a lot after that. We went snowshoeing and snowblowing and sled racing. Seh asked if I wanted to marry one of her younger daughters. I explained that no, I didn't want to. And she asked why and so I told her. When I think about it, I guess I came out of the closet to Sarah Palin. I cried in her arms. Seh assured me that it would be all right and that heaven and hell shared a maritime border. And that we could still be friends in the afterlife. That cheered me up.

Anyway, i moved back to new york after my northern exposure phase. It turns out chris wasn't there anyway. And last night who did I see on TV but Sarah Palin. I didn't really understadn what she was saying but I don't think she did either. I remember when she auditioned for the Wasilla production of Cat on A Hot Tin Roof. Seh didn't know what she was saying then either. She just read the lines. I was happy to see her on TV but I got bored when the old white haired man started talking so I flipped around until i fell asleep.

Anyway, I'm glad Sarah is doing well. This isn't a political blog so I dont' want to endorse her or not endorse her. Especially because I know how influenced my readers are by me. Let me just say that seh was a very nice lady to some people but dont' ever try to put lipstick on one of her dogs because she will slap you. And she is scary when she's mad. So try not to piss her off by disagreeing with her. She hates that. And don't use her hat for a strainer. And don't borrow her rifle. And if she tells you to marry her daughter, do it.