Why I pretended to be Jewish

People ask me, hey Floyd, will you tell us the story of why you pretended to be Jewish?  So i decided to post it here.

 

Once upon a time there was this theatre that read my play.  We can call them for the sake of argument, The Jewish Theater of America.  Billy (Let's pretend) from The Jewish Theater of America called me up and said, we like your play, and we have an open slot in our season but we only do plays by Jews.  Are you Jewish?

 

I thought long and hard.  Because Mother told me not to lie ever.  That's how i was brought up.  Not to lie.  But I wanted someone to do my play and not descriminate against me and my play Noah meets Jesus.  Well would anyone ever know if i lied?  If they saw me go to church they might.  But i could just say that I was going for research.  I am circumsized, if it ever came to that.  (it never came to that.)  Then I thought what would Jesus do?  And jesus was jewish so he would say yes.  So that's what i did.  I said yes I am a jew.  Do my play please.  and they did.  And it got bad reviews by everyone who reviewed it.  Even though they built an ark onstage and even though the cruxifiction was done as a disco number.

 

After this happened, I decided not to worry so much abotu whether or not I was not Jewish or not anything else and I sent my plays everywhere, even pretending i was a woman.  And this is when i started writing my play from the point of view of the Native Americans.